It took me FOREVER to learn to finagle my natural hair. While getting used to having curly hair, after having straight hair all my life, I felt that anything I did would mess up my curls. It was like I had a curl complex. Maybe because every time I got my permed hair curled it never lasted for more than a day between me being a head sweater (not like the clothing “sweater” people, like sweat sweat — perspiration geez) and me not knowing how to wrap my hair up properly at night to preserve those curls. It never stayed looking good so it was a waste and a hassle. So when I started on my curly hair journey, every time I did things like sleeping, cowashing, spraying it with water, etc., it gave me a slight anxiety (can you have “a slight anxiety”?) and a voice in my head always said “they’re not going to coming back… Watch!” or “you ruined them!”. Oh and you should have seen me when I decided to incorporated combs back into my regimen after being an exclusive finger detangler; I would handle my hair like stemware because I didn’t want my curls to fall! Talk about having a permed mindset!
I had to get out of that fast. Even after my curls bounced back repeatedly (right before my eyes), day after day, after washing and going or reviving a WNG from severe bedhead by spraying with some water, I still wasn’t convinced. I had to literally sit down and make myself realize that this was how my hair is now. This is its natural state and nothing short of using chemicals or mistreating it, like withholding moisture or not managing split ends, could prevent it from not curling. When I finally got that through my thick skull (it is so hard to UNLEARN!), my hair and I made a deal; if I did my part and gave it what it needed everyday (moisture and creamy nutrient-rich leave ins), then it would continue to show out!
I can do that!
Did you walk on eggshells while manipulating your newly natural doo, too?